There's no second chance to make a strong first impression, which is critical in the development of relationships with unfamiliar faces at business and social encounters.

Although we've all been advised not to judge people on our first impressions, we all do it. Within seconds, we pass judgment on how people present themselves and appraise their behaviour from head to toe. Even at a glance we scan for those common surface clues! And the impressions we create are virtually irreversible for good or for bad whether anyone likes it or not...

By learning the 'rules' you'll start enjoying poise and success beyond your wildest imaginings! First-time acquaintances will be eager to see you again and you'll open up opportunities for friendships, jobs, promotions, love relationships, networking and sales. This is both challenging and exciting.

Do you make your first impression your best? Here are some ways to be a fabulous first impression winner in any situation:

• Ready or not: Within three seconds of every new situation, a person make an indelible impression on us. After that, we selectively filter our impressions of that person; sure, we'll take in new information or perceptions about them, but only in terms of how it confirms what we already know about him or her. After making a good impression, we are predisposed to think favorably of that person.
• Know yourself: Assess your 'typical' behavior, physical appearance, lifestyle and the 'type' of person you are. Also, ask yourself the following questions:
  • What are your goals and how will you achieve them?
  • What impression do you want to create with others?
  • How good are you with remembering people's names?
  • Do you tend to be engaged, warm, distracted or pompous?
  • Are you very attentive when it comes to attendance, reliability or punctuality?
  • Do you act or think like you know more about everything than your peers?
• Package deal: All-in-all the aim is to be pleasant, attractive and knowledgeable (PAK), 100% of the time, no matter where you are or what you do. Everyone you meet will enjoy your company!
• Appearance counts: It is human nature to constantly observe others' demeanor, mannerisms and body language. If you sound like you are from the past and look like you just came through a wind tunnel, face it and do something about it.
• Dress: Standards for appropriate attire change frequently, nevertheless, the way you dress will affect the outcome of the encounter by presenting ideas about you to those you meet. Its therefore best practice to be dressed to the nines.
  • Always dress professionally at work, because you might unexpectedly meet a potential client.
  • Figure out what the appropriate dress code would be for each encounter.
  • Iron clothes and check that it is free from stains and in an acceptable condition and clean or polish shoes.
  • Ensure that your bag or briefcase contains only the essentials - notebook. pen etc.
  • Ladies: Complement your outfit with jewellery, make-up and other accessories - no make-up is considered unprofessional by some. Put lipstick and powder compact into your handbag.
  • If the weather is likely to chance, be prepared.
• Grooming: Ensure that you are all-round neat and fresh.
• Accessories: Watch, handbag, briefcase, jewellery to complement your outfit.
• Business etiquette: Follow the appropriate etiquette, keeping cultural and other sensitivities in mind.
• For starters: Smile and make eye contact with the person you are meeting and maintain it for more than a second - this makes for a good ice breaker and set the atmosphere for friendly and pleasant interchange.
• Your mood: If you are not in a good mood at the moment when you are making your first impression, fake a good mood - this might even actually change your mood for the better.
• Nervous: If you feel nervous, try to hide it by controlling your twitching, fidgeting, jittering, or whatever habit you may have that conveys anxiety. Remember - no one expects you know everything, so slow down, relax, be open-minded, be co-operative, listen, ask questions, communicate openly or let the others do the talking.
• Positive attitude: Having and expressing a positive attitude and displaying enthusiasm to everyone you interact with always works.
• Take initiative: Take the initiative to introduce yourself to others, even if you don't know what to expect. Whatever you do, don't just sit there waiting for someone to notice you - rather be proactive - find someone to meet and talk to them. Others will appreciate the effort you made to connect and you will make an immediate strong impression on them.
• Focus on others: Demonstrate immediately that the other person is your centre of attention and conversation. Smile, fully facing others, and lean toward them as they talk - spotlight them. Compliment them with sincerity but do not overdo it.
• What is a bore?: When a person talks about themselves non-stop, they are by definition a bore, while they most likely think they are captivating others with their life story. Others would probably be sure to avoid his/her company in future. Most people enjoy being found interesting, funny or insightful, more than to be interested, amused, or informed by someone else.
• Interrupting: Never interrupt someone or complete people's sentences for them.
• Listening skills: You'll make a superb initial impression when you demonstrate good listening skills. Listen, listen, listen!
  • Give cues: Give positive verbal cues: Hmmm... interesting! Tell me more, please. What happened next? Your conversational partner will welcome your assistance in keeping the exchange going.
  • Questions: Focus on opinions and feelings by asking follow-up questions about people's remarks.
  • Explore: Draw others out and encourage people to join the conversation. Offer a variety of topics and try to zone in on common experiences, passions or interests.
  • Small talk: Share observations about everyday life. Keep to the enjoyable side of things, rather than dwelling on the annoyances of life.
  • Eye contact: Offer full attention and look everyone you meet straight in the eye. Skilled listeners maintaining steady eye contact.
• Use names: Use the name of a new acquaintance frequently:
  • Learn quick: Show that you have paid attention from the start, catching the name during the introduction.
  • Personal: Make conversations more personal by including the listener's name several times.
  • Forgot?: If you forgot a person's name, simply apologise and ask their name again.
  • Example: Judy, I love that idea - or - that must have been very exciting, Tom.
• Handshake: Smile and make eye contact as you give a firm handshake.
• Humor: A quip or two might serve as a great icebreaker, but use humor with care, because you don't know a stranger's sensitivities and you might establish barriers you can't overcome. Sarcastic remarks also have a tendency to backfire. You may be willing to mention some of your own vulnerabilities and laugh at yourself within reason.
• Facial expression: Smile often and display animation in facial expression.
• Gestures: Gesture naturally in sync with what you are saying, without canning your movements.
• Speaking style: Speak skillfully, confidently, convincingly and enunciate clearly so you're easily heard. Put energy in your voice and alter your pitch to avoid the dullness of a monotone. Keep the example of My Fair Lady in mind. When saying your name, say it slowly and clearly.
• What you say: Listeners judge our intelligence, culture, educational level and even leadership ability by the words we select and by how we say them.
• Gossip: Do not solicit any rumors and gossip around the office.
• Need to be right: At least at the start, focus on positive comments, not criticisms, complaints or indulging in the need to be right. Wait before you challenge another's statements until you have established rapport and credibility with him/her.
• Personal business: There is a certain unofficial grace-period for doing some personal business at work, but keep it to an absolute minimum.
• On time: When you have an appointment to meet someone, have the address of the meeting place and phone number of the person. Know how to get there and how long the meeting will take. Don't arrive too early or too late.
• Prepare: When preparation is required, you will make a much stronger impression by doing your homework than by just winging it. Know the names of everyone you are meeting and how to pronounce them and any other information required.
• Find a mentor: A mentor is a great sounding board and will help you become an expert in your field, as well as provide advance on your career within the business.
• Skill up: Once you have identified areas for improvement, ask friends to help you, read up or do a course on image development, communication, business etiquette and protocol skills - be resourceful and enjoy the process! Now is the time to research some of the neat memory-aid tricks you can use to remember people's names.
• Network: You can network at various occasions - by joining network groups or by taking classes to improve your skills. Take every opportunity to network with people in your business and industry. Attend meetings, conferences, trade shows - every opportunity to make new acquaintances and keep your ears open. This will extend your network, which you have to constantly grow and manage. Career changes happen much more frequently these days and a solid network or contacts is invaluable.
• Team spirit: When working with others, show loyalty, focus on sharing recognition and give credit your co-workers.
• Show appreciation: Show genuine appreciation to anyone who has helped you.

Real world impressions

• Individual preference: You can't be all things to all people. While you may intrigue some - you may disenchant others. Find the right balance that works for you.
  • Respected: If you appear to be of higher business or social status, you are admired and cultivated as a valuable contact.
  • Suitable: If you appear to be of comparable business or social level, you are considered suitable for further interaction.
  • Held at arm's length: If you appear to be of lower business or social standing, you are tolerated but kept at arm's length.
• Perfectly groomed: Perfectly groomed is perceived as efficient and reliable in work, even though after a while, people realise these things do not necessarily correspond.
• Matching culture : If you are in an interview situation, you can either appear to match the corporate culture or not, ultimately affecting the outcome.
• Dressed messages: If you are dressed business-like, it could say: "Meeting you calls for me to present a business-like appearance"
• Slacking at work: There's nothing that can affect your reputation faster than routinely coming into work late, taking too long breaks or leaving work early. Be on time, come in early, stay a little later - be dedicated and flexible.
• Opening lines: People give more weight to their early information than to later information, so be your most charming at the beginning of the conversation.
• In-betweeners: Candidates for interviews have killed their chances by acting inappropriately before or after the actual interview, when they thought no-one was observing them.
• Presentations: Make the best possible first impression and once your three-second evaluation is over, the content of your speech will not change that impression - you will have your audience in the palm of your hand.
• Services: It pays to pay attention to your image if you provide a service - every face-to-face contact you make reflects upon your service and your business image that draws repeat and new business.
• Promotion opportunities: Business promotion does not take care of itself - you are your business and your business image is, in large part, your image and how you and your staff present yourselves. Wherever you go and whatever you do reflects upon your business and is a business promotion opportunity.
• Credibility: As a business owner, you want to ensure that everyone who meets you forms a positive first impression and that impression would then lend credibility to your business. These impressions turn into long-term perceptions on future potential, your reputations and having confidence in your business. Appearance and behaviour of each staff member is a representation of a business.
• Knowledgeable: If you cannot remember details, then take notes - it would create a great impression if you always know what's you where supposed to know or more.
• Taken seriously: People will take you as seriously as you seem to take yourself and your work.
• Referrals and testimonials: As you create a positive business image, it guarantees that you will get excellent word-of-mouth referrals, positive client testimonials and letters of reference on request.